What the hell is wrong with BING

I know that Bing is Microsoft's competitor to Google, which took over the Reins Of Internet Mastery from Yahoo and Webcrawler of the Old Days of the Information Superhighway and searches - what I don't get is what the hell is wrong with their search capabilities.

I'll post captures when I get around to it, but let me just state off the top that I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I like Windows, avoid Macs like they are the plague (They are) and try to use Bing to help out ol'MS but their search engine is like drinking day old coffee.

What the hell is up with the results? I try to use more keywords, hell I've used whole sentences, as if I was at AskJeeves (which Oprah professed to like IIRC) but still Bing gave retarded results. It was as if it was finding all the useful sites that had the exact information on what I was searching for and deliberately holding those back. Seriously. It was trolling me and giving me everything BUT the ones that were the most useful. WHAT THE HELL MAN

So then I end up going over to TakeOverTheWorldGoogle and use the same keywords. In the first few results is exactly what I was looking for. Dude. Hire some new programmers Bing, take it down and start from scratch, something. Something is wrong with your results, they stink like pickled egg dog farts. What the hell man.

I still use Bing. I like their image layout and the whole place seems so darn nice to use with their fancy pictures and ...ease of use. Google is so Plain Jane it's annoying and I find my brain wracking itself just to get some stimulation perusing TheMastersWhiteness over there, until I get to the website I want. At least I can get to what I want. C'mon Bing, put on some leg warmers and work things out man.

Phrases I Hate II

Some of these I've actually hated for a long time but I wanted to mention them, just so that if I happen to be around you when you use them, you won't be surprised by a punch in the neck.

"Multiplayer" (idiots that pronounce it "mult-EYE-playeh")
 I'm not sure where people started with this one, but I think it was around the time newscasters were calling desktop computer systems 'hard drives' and patting the case like a baby's bottom. Regardless, if you are saying this word muhlt-EYE-playeh, you are saying it wrong and will be punched in the neck.

Why is it wrong you ask? There are a few reasons but I'll give the main one: There is no vowel one letter past the letter "i", so that means you do not say the "i' in it's vowel long form "eye" - you are supposed to say "eh".  You wouldn't pronounce "multiplication" muhlt-EYE-ply-kay-shun, would you? Only idiots would. That's why it's "muhlt-EH-plih-kay-shun" and Multiplayer is "muhlt-EH-play-ehr".

"Stave" (idiots that think "STAY-ef" is a way to refer to a staff, as in a kickass bo staff, but that would be wrong because it's not "ah kick-ah-ss bow-STAY-ef")
Sooo many idiots have started to say staff as "stay-ef" that it has even been included in some dictionaries. This isn't because it's correct however, it is because dictionaries are updated as terms and phrases become 'more commonly used'. In other words, there are so many idiots using this word and saying it this way that it has to be put in the book, not that it is any more correct. I think that dictionary technicians must take special drugs so they can sleep and not rage all night at the moronony of the world. I just made that word up, but at least it's correct. Idiot.
Stave actually gets special mention because despite not being a real word, a popular Massively Multiplayer (don't say it that way idiot) Game for kids called World of Warcraft even has their voice actors (i.e. a couple programmers who got 20 bucks) say "stay-ef" into the microphones and has been saying it that way ever since their  earlier kick-ass game Diablo2.

Why is it wrong you ask? Again, there are a couple of reasons but I'll give one example: What do you call the caricature of the stereotype of jewish people in fantasy games (like MMORPGs)? That's right, Dwarves.
Now, what is the singular form of dwarves? That's right, Dwarf. "duh-war-ff" - IT IS NOT DRAVE.
If I hear anyone say "dray-ev" around me, expect a punch in the neck.  You morons who don't understand word logic and say "stay-ef" look: If the singular of dwarves is dwarf, then the singular of staves is staff. Only idiots would say "stay-ves" for the plural of a staff. That's why it is "stah-ff" NOT "stay-ev". If you say it that way, guess what you get

That's it for now
If you can talk properly, I might buy you a beer sometime
or whatever fruity drink you drink

How to Disable Unity in Ubuntu Linux 11.04 Natty Narwhal Because Unity Sucks

 

Well, after using Ubuntu 11.04 Fatty Whalehole with Unity for what 2-3 weeks, I already hate Unity. (Did you know it had a logo?)


Don't get me wrong, it is a nice idea, the organization of the applications vs. spread out menus (although they are still in menus per se), the 'unified titlebar' that changes depending on what app you are using, the launcher with it's quick access to apps you like... Heck the whole thing is built around making what you want to get to faster and easier to..get to. Too bad it sucks huge hairy donkey balls and ruined a bunch of other things on my system that I had set up nicely and working for a while.

 Like many things in life, it looked good at first, but appears to be more high maintenance that it lets on. Sure, it looks slick and clean. Sure, it has to learn which apps you like the best over time - but it just felt like it took more steps to get to what I wanted vs. dragging down a menu and clicking on it before. This is still after approaching a month of solid usage.

 Making a few small changes in Compiz resulted in my losing my titlebars. Ya, that's what I wanted to do...
Are your titlebars gone? Thank Unity.
Confused about the titlebar in the top panel and how it changes and moves around and is overall generally harder to use? Blame Unity.
Annoyed at having the launcher take up valuable horizontal space on your desktop? Way to go, Unity!
Although I figured that last one and others out (including the titlebars), forget it, I'm getting rid of Unity, or at least ignoring it altogether, until it is later, hopefully better working versions.

So how do you disable Unity? Apparently, like early Internet Explorer in past versions of MSWindows, it has it's hooks into a lot of things in Ubuntu, so the best way to avoid/ignore/not use Unity is to logout and at the bottom, choose what type of Desktop setting you want, in this case we want the Good Old Ubuntu Desktop GUI, so we will choose Ubuntu Classic (use the No Effects option if you don't want any 3D fancy pants effects or your computer can't handle the graphics). Much like New Coke, New Ubuntu with Unity tastes pitiful and we all want the Classic back. There's how to get to it.

You still won't have your System>Preferences>Appearance>DesktopEffects tab back, because Unity likes to torture you, but at least you'll have everything else looking and acting like it's former reliable self. Good-bye Unity, Usuck. (Note that Ubuntu Linux still kicks ass. Remember to pronounce it properly: it's ooh-BOON-two).

Songs that I have had stuck in my head recently

Scientists, with their obsessive compulsive need to name everything (sometimes being lazy and calling things Red Spotted Tailed Newt, and so on, with more recently, new fish species found in the deepest depths, having huge jaws and fangs being named things like Fangtooth, Dragonfish and so on, as I said LAZY), having a song 'stuck on your ear' is apparently named an Earworm. Better conduct a study.

Sounding gross and being truly annoying sometimes, it's a song or phrase from a song (that means a part of a song, Lifenoob™ (Yes, I coined that phrase, I made it up and never saw it before I unleashed it on a Forum in the 90s, now idiots have ripped it off saying it's this or that. What I meant was simply "a young person" and I sitll use it that way because I made it up) that repeats in your brain, showing just how much OCD/ADD/ADHD/Tourettes you have.  

If you are new to my web log (that's what a Blog is by the way) then get used to my run on sentences and my spelling. And small text.

• Pump Up The Volume (the song not the movie, dummy) but not even a good part, it's the part where it goes all floonky with an annoying sped-up voice that says "put the needle on the record" over and over really fast, with an annoying ebonic accent. All of that is followed by it going into floonkyville with jungle drums and some east indian type of singing. That part. Ya, that's what kids will dance to in 1987, the 80s are almost over anyway, morons. You can totally tell the song was basically a fight between reggae and punk, in an electronica octagon. 
• A phrase in a scene change in Returner, a japanese action movie, and it was so nicely done (I have to look up who did the score for that one) it still comes back off/on to this day. Lenny Kravitz does a song for that one, btw (By The Way)
• Mozart's String Quartet in B Flat (Kapp68, which was a numbering system for his works that someone did to keep track of them, look it up). This one is so nice and calming and listening to Mozart, with it's emotionally predictable and mathematical and statistical metering, is wonderful for the brain and people with ADD/Tourettes. It's like audio exercises for your grey matter. Listen to him often.

There are more but I forget.

Holy crap, I posted twice in one year. The world really is going to end soon.

What The Hell (Phrases I Hate)

What the Hell it's been forever since I came here. I forgot this place existed. Sorry for those who were waiting for me, as if that's anyone. 


I'll start anew by posting phrases that I hate. If I hear any of these phrases, expect a punch in the mouth, or if you exist on on the intertubes, a flaming forum post, HELLZ YA IM THAT BAD

• "to a whole new level"what was once used as a real expression of something setting a new bar (nope don't hate that one) for it's field, now everyone uses it when they typed 2 words more then their last post or article or found 2 more pieces of corn in their crap than last time
• "a paradigm shift" or "a real paradigm shift" cause there are fake ones, right? I'm not even talking more on this one
• "___ is key"
   this is so wrong I want to punch random faces in the general area of where I hear it. The phrase is _____ IS THE KEY not "is key" as that is a stupid shortcut of the concept and I will punch you in the neck if I hear it come out of you

I'm hungry so I'm going for now but I hate the above and I'm back, I found my way back home after waking up under the car with the keys in my

Poor Man's Guide to The April 1 Computer Virus Thing

On April 1st, there is supposed to be some virus or something and it's supposed to hit the world like a tsunami of bukakke and it's either going to be very harmful or a complete hoax.

Why take chances?

Here are, at the last possible minute, 2 of my best ideas for poor people like me who are running Win98SE and leave their computer on all the time and open to the intertubes so they may have this troyjan or virus:

1) DO NOT TURN ON YOUR COMPOOTER ON APRIL 1ST
That's it, easy. Go outside or get yer yearly shower or telegraph and catch up with relatives.
Best way. No problem. Can't possibly trigger the virus.

2) SET YOUR DATE TO ANOTHER TIME
I don't mean like Dec.12 2012, it doesn't have to be that drastic. Just set it for like the 3rd or something and when IRL time = April 2nd, set it properly. Done. No problem. Can't possibly trigger the virus.

For those of you who are nerding out over this and absolutely HAVE to sign in to World of Warcraft to do your dailies or check your auction, then go here:
http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/Bulletin/MS08-067.mspx
and download your OS type and install 'er. This is like a vaccination for your poor old comp about this April 1st viroos straight from Dr. Gates.

Ima do it right now actually, while I'm hooked up to da interwebs















Done!


Now go get a job and buy a new comp ~Jezzball

Coining by Shad (Coined?)

I have thusly created a new word thingamaboober In response to that annoying advertisement of Susan Express in WoW








I said "Prices have drooped dramastically!"

Which bought me a few lols/lulz

Thusly, I have coined a new term of concantintonations:

Dramastically

If you make a new guild, it can have dramastic in it.
We can have pkp and rung arguementz and split it in half later.

gg

Joaquin Phoenix: The Truth?

Joaquin Phoenix: the truth - well, according to what I've seen...

Anyone who is 'plugged into' the media in any way, by TV or by Interweb, will have heard about this great actor's beard and mumbling by now. Yet, noone seems to know why this has all come about.

Whenever anyone encounters things they don't understand, especially negative things, or things that may even be directed at them, they call it 'fake' in reaction - and there is no difference here.

Not knowing that the joke is on them, the media is calling it all 'a hoax' and making fun of this actor.




So what is going on then?
I'll tell you what I think, and it seems to be a very rare viewpoint indeed.

About a half a year ago, I was flipping channels on the television, and just happened to catch a show that appeared to be a 'travel' type of documentary/show with an African fellow as the host, and the backdrop was still in the city... I didn't catch the beginning, but it appears that the host and crew of the show 'bumped into' Joaquin at the airport and after telling him about their show, he joined them for the trip. Dang, I really wish I would remember the name of the travel/documentary...

Regardless, in the show, they went to a very remote village (south america?) that was only reachable by river. The culture shock was astounding, as in the isolated village, the life was the 'historically stereotypical' hut-and-skirt type - and it started with a huge welcome to the show's host and Joaquin, as the entire village came to welcome them and celebrate their arrival.


With my ADD, I didn't watch the whole thing, but flicking back and forth once in a while, I saw snippets of stick-banging rituals and a spot where the villagers seemed to blow tobacco/peyote up each other's noses (including Joaquin) and much more.

The culture, the lack of materialism, the togetherness of the village, the happiness... it all seemed to affect Joaquin particularly deeply (the crew even caught a moment of emotion from him..).
By the end of the show, they were going to return and were travelling down the river. At the last moment, Joaquin announced that he was 'going to stay' and the host informed him that there would be no way out for some time if he did. The end shot I watched of the travel/documentary show was Joaquin driving himself back up the river in the boat...

So, the truth (to me) is that this talented, intelligent person has found himself, found something, and realized the emptiness of the materialism and fame of the entertainment world. It is all a joke to him - and the Rap Career? It's just a final joke upon the media, as Rap is seen as the epitome of materialism, fame-chasing, useless entertainment. I have arrived at this 'truth' about Joaquin Phoenix on my own, and I don't know Mr.Phoenix - but if I did not happen to catch that travel/documentary show that fateful day, I too may think it's all just a stunt - but as it stands, I did, and I don't.

The Future Internet

"29 years from now, data will be kept on the facets of crystals and information will be stored on proteins and personal data etched on our DNA.

Shaking hands with someone will validate your identity to each other and contact information will be sent via proteins and small currents in our skin through the salt perspiration to the other person.

The moisture in the air will be the medium of transmission, much like radio waves are now, and every breath you take you will inhale streaming data from all over the planet, mainly consisting of advertisements.

Through our bodies and the moisture in the air, we will be constantly connected electrically to each other and if needed, transmit our thoughts to those we have validated and who have allowed us to receive our thought transmissions.

Then, you will be constantly, directly connected to each other via the Internet. It will be called The Grid."

by Faerathialis of The Allerian Geographic Society

Reality: Just Accept It

No matter how many times you try to avoid it...

Just accept it.


Sent in by ifx of ctrl+alt+ins

If You Seek Amy

All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to...


Nice play to get free marketing, Brit and Co. (people whining about the lyrics) but back in my day we were WAY more rebellious - openly!

We had songs like

I WANT YOUR SEX

Simple, open rebellion
o ya

You kids these days are just WIMPS YAH
BRING IT
OH ITS ALREADY BEEN BROUGHT-TED

The Wrestler: A Movie I Will Never See

I have been watching more television lately. No reason, besides being up later and not being able to do anything.


I have seen this Trailer now 48 times. I have seen the small 'teaser' version and the longer 'make you cry before it's over' version.

I have not seen it yet but read that it got nominations galore and already won 14 different awards - and I will STILL never see this movie.

Why? Not because it's a drama, a nice change from all the negative action and horror films that seem to be around. Not because it's got Rourke or whatsername, because they are both good, no doubt. It is because after seeing the trailers on TV over and over, I have already had tears in my eyes too many times.

It will be too good a drama and I will cry and I am not in the mood or have the energy. I SHAKE MY FIST AT YOU, MOVIE, YOU WILL NOT HAVE ME!

The Show Starts In Ten Minutes

Love it. I play this in the background while I cruise the Information Superhighway.

Say it, Information Superhighway. Let's all call it that again from now on.

Stupid Orange

I dropped an orange section and can't find it, so that means I'll either step in it, make a mess by rolling the chair over it, or find it hard as heck later on

I don't even know why I eat oranges, they are either too tart, too tangy, too hard, too mushy or too sweet, get lost

If they weren't good for you I've have nothing to do with them

Plus, it's a stupid color

Whatever

Everyone uses black. It's stupid.